Victories and Defeats

Anyone who has faced a big life challenge knows that challenges are comprised of a series of victories and defeats. Cancer is no exception.

Ups and downs… highs and lows… peaks and valleys… this is the cancer journey. Many of you are intimately familiar with this as you’ve been either a cancer patient or a caregiver. Or both.

So far, my updates have focused mostly on the victories. What can I say? I’m a “glass-half-full” kind of gal! But to ignore the defeats is to not fully recognize the experience. It’s not always pretty, my friends. The past several days have been particularly challenging for Danny.

With WBC (white blood cell), PLT (platelet), and ANC (absolute neutrophil) counts being at rock bottom, Danny is very vulnerable. He is battling constant fever, horrendous mouth sores that cause his cheeks to swell (making it hard to talk, eat, and drink), gastro issues, body rashes, “chemo brain”, and relentless exhaustion.

Yet every day, worn and tattered, he digs deep within himself to find that inner warrior to keep fighting. I cannot even begin to convey the tremendous courage that Danny has shown through this fight. However, I always like to remind him that courage and fear are not mutually exclusive.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

– Nelson Mandela

The shitty irony right now is that what’s happening to Danny, albeit sucky, is “normal” as far as his treatment is concerned. The doctor has reinforced this many times. His body is reacting exactly as it should. And we have to acknowledge that as a victory, even though it doesn’t feel like it from day to day.

The doctor is still reluctant to share a hospital discharge date with us, but she did hint that Monday, December 12 is a possibility. We are cautiously optimistic! Help us manifest Danny’s discharge on Dec 12!! What a victory that would be.

Speaking of victories, I want to share with you the person who taught me and Danny about the importance of celebrating victories, big and small, during the cancer fight. His name is Irv Hilf (aka “Uncle Irv”).

Danny, donning his new favorite t-shirt, with Uncle Irv | Wednesday, November 30, 2022

The moment he heard Danny was being hospitalized for his induction chemotherapy, Irv packed his bags and left his life in California to be our cancer Sherpa! For two weeks, Irv gifted us the wisdom of Yoda, the compassion of the Dalai Lama, and the humor of George Carlin. We absolutely could not have gotten through those first two weeks without him.

To Irv… thank you for making the unbearable bearable. Danny and I are forever grateful to you for your support, love, and kindness… as well as your unfiltered counsel! We love you beyond words.

To everyone… two reminders:

  1. Leave your comments below! We need all the support and words of encouragement we can get. You can never say too much!
  2. Feel free to reach out directly to Danny. He’s got his cell phone on him at all times. So, shoot him a text or give him a call. Don’t worry that you’re bothering him. Most days, he’s bored out of his mind! A call or text could make his day.

Keep those prayers, positive manifestations, healing vibes & energy, and good juju coming!


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  50. Jennifer Avatar
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    Sending huge hopes for a release today!!! I know BOTH of you can’t wait to get back home.

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    Continued prayers and hugs are being sent. Go Danny! 💪

  52. Victoria Anderson Surko Avatar
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    Prayers up, up, up and up! Manifesting all kinds of light, love and positivity your way. December 12, let’s get it!

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  53. Dawn Bluhm Avatar
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    Since December 12th is my birthday, I am gifting you my birthday wish!! You can use it for you to be discharged or what every you desire that day. Sending you the good juju!!

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  55. Kim Avatar
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    Thank you for the update! The side effects are awful, but it’s so great to hear he’s responding well to the treatment. Praying for y’all to go home on Dec 12! You’ve got this!

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